The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
