my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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