i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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