I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
