This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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