Your face is a jimmy john
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
