so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
They have beer where we have blood.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
