i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
