I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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