Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
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My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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