Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
