I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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