She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
