i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
