my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
