I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was born a porn star she said
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason