also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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