Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo

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(847): View more from Illinois

.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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(308): View more from Nebraska

and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs

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(330): View more from Ohio

After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face

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(480): View more from Arizona

I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.

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(289): View more from Ontario

God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.

(519): View more from Ontario

Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.

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