You smell like a Billy Joel song
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.