The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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