Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
