I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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