Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
