I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
