The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
