I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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