Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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