I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
