I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
