dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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