She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
