operation harelip BJ is a go
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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