we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize