she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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