Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
