i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize