I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
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Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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