I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
