If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He shit in the fireplace
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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