i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
