She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
