Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
