dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She said her name was "party"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
