that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
