You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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