OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
