just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
