Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
