we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
