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i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
