people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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