Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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