You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
