what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
