Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
