Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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