The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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