there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
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It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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