And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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