Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Im part way to drunk.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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