forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
