Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't think brook has ever known best
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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