It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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