The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
