I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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